Apr 1, 2021
Can you think back to a moment when you lost your cool with your wife or kids? What’s going on when our emotions get the best of us?
What if instead of defaulting to anger, judgement, defensiveness and frustration, we could better understand the feelings of everyone involved, and empathize more effectively with others’ perspectives?
Helping me answer these questions is Nathanael Chawkin, who specializes in interpersonal communication dynamics for both executive teams and families alike.
I first started working with Nathanael one-on-one so that I could better understand my triggers; the things that really set me off.
He’s helped me tackle some of the toughest communication challenges in my life, and has given me the necessary tools and strategies to identify my biggest emotional blind spots as a husband and father.
His approach to coaching leans on The Work of Byron Katie. If you aren’t yet familiar with The Work, it consists of four questions that allow you to look at specific problems and see exactly what is bothering you in a whole new light.
In today’s conversation, we touch on a wide variety of topics, including Nathanael’s unique upbringing in what he calls a “human potential experiment,” how he masterfully uses self-inquiry in his coaching practice (and with me), and some of the breakthroughs we’ve achieved in our sessions together. You’ll even get to hear us talk through a scenario in real-time, so you can get a taste of what it’s really like to work with Nathanael!
Gold Nuggets
- The benefits of a multi-spiritual upbringing.
- How he lived in a karate dojo for 2 years.
- The importance of owning your problems instead of trying to meditate or transcend them away.
- Why it’s so easy to think people are judgmental when you’re the one doing the judging.
- Ways people misinterpret The Work of Byron Katie.
- The 80/20 Rule to help you drop in to your own inner wisdom.
- A framework you can use to better understand what triggers you and transform feelings through inquiry.
- How to stop being your worst critic.
- How The Work is used in a real-life inquiry session.
- How The Work helps create safe places for the people we love.
Big Questions
Asked
- How can coaching help us get perspective and see all the different arguments around an issue?
- How can we use The Work of Byron Katie in our everyday lives?
- What are our basic defense mechanisms–and how can we defuse them when they don’t serve us?
- Why can’t we see our own blind spots without help?
- Where does healing come from, and how do we end patterns of trauma?
- Why do we have more control when it’s us that needs to change, not our spouse or our children?
- Why is it so easy to stop treating ourselves like someone who is worthy of respect?
- Why is it so hard for us to ask for what we really want?
- Why do we need to practice the basics of inquiry when we’re not in the moment?
- Where does transformation really come from?
Get the Full Show Notes
Want access to the full show notes, including links to all resources mentioned during today's conversation? Visit FrontRowDads.com/264
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